It's All a Matter of Balance

• Who can find a virtuous woman? her price is far above rubies
• She looketh well to the ways of her household

I shared with ya'll on my last post that I had been falling down on the job about my habits.  I had a bad week; it was rainy and dreary; someone who I thought was a friend hurt me--or at least hurt my feelings; I was depressed; ya-da, ya-da, ya-da.

Some of it was physical, some emotional, some spiritual.

Then something happened the next week that really knocked me for loop--literally.  I was bringing groceries up the carport steps and into the house, and somehow as I stepped into the kitchen I was falling--luckily forward onto the floor and not backward onto the concrete. It felt like it was in slow-motion--a slow, inevitable fall that ended suddenly as I hit the floor. 

I was hurt--not just feelings, this time, but literal, physical hurt.  I landed first on my left knee, which hurt like the dickens.  I knocked into a chair with my right shoulder.  I apparently pulled a muscle or something in my right calf.  I found myself sprawled in the middle of the floor, crying aloud, surrounded by spilled bags of groceries, including an omelet of sorts, as smashed eggs began to ooze from the carton and spread slowly across the floor. 

I slowly managed to turn over and sit upright, and sat there--on the floor, surrounded by the spilled contents of my bags--and balled like a baby. I was in pain, but some of the crying was pent up frustration from the physical, emotional, and spiritual storms that I had been weathering. 

I finally managed to pull myself together, and tried to get up off the floor, only to realize that my instinctive, roll-over-onto-all-fours-and-get-on-up move wasn't working, 'cause my knee HURT too much to put weight on it.  Not to mention that other calf that felt like it was knotted up in a charlie horse. 

Just for a minute I panicked.  Then I thought of the phone call I might have to make, "Help, I've fallen, and I can't get up!"

Not me!  Not this ol' gal!

Then I panicked again when I couldn't find my cell phone in my purse--it was hiding among the spilled groceries--but luckily not in the raw eggs spreading slowly across the floor.

So how did I get up?  I scooted across the floor on my rear, managed to reach up enough with my cell phone to unlatch the storm door, and stuck my legs out the door and down the steps, so I managed to just stand up from a sitting position on the steps. 

Not my finest hour. 

And then I had to clean up the mess!

I've had a couple of weeks to recover and I'm still limping around.  The bruises are finally starting to fade, although I will certainly take your head off right quickly if you try to pat me on the knee. 

I've had a lot of recliner time, trying to keep my legs elevated to keep the bruising down. 

And lots of time for reflection. 

It certainly put somethings back into perspective for me. 

I wish that I was one of those people that let things just roll off of me.  Just like I wish I was one of those  physically limber and agile people who can roll right out of a fall, too. 

But as I was praying one day, asking the Lord to help me not be so sensitive, I stopped in my tracks.  I have prayed in the past for the Lord to help me to be more sensitive, especially when I have inadvertently hurt someone I love.  That very sensitivity to hurt is what makes me more sensitive to the needs of others. 

I lost my balance in the natural, when I fell into the kitchen. You better believe that as painful as my recovery has been, I'm much more careful about where I step--and about making sure I keep my balance. 

Sometimes I lose my balance emotionally and spiritually, too. 

I don't know why my "friend" did what she did, the way that she did it.  It hurt me, it hurt others, as well.  But I'd rather feel the pain than close myself off to love, and friendship, and relationships in the future. 

I just need to be sure that I keep myself in balance. 

Proverbs 27:6 states it this way: "Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful."

May I be ever sensitive, Lord.

Until next time...

This post is linked to:
Finer Things Friday at Amy's Finer Things
Spiritual Sundays

Making New Habits: Sometimes You Just Gotta Go With the Flow

• Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies
• She looketh well to the ways of her household

Hey ladies, you may have noticed that I was absent and didn't make my usual post last week in my "Making New Habits" series.

I had a bad, bad week last week. 

There was way too much of this:

and not enough of this:

And on top of that, there was not enough of this:

And there was too much of that:

And to top it off, a personal crises that really knocked me for a loop. 

Not to mean that I didn't get anything done. 

I did. 

Just not always the things I had planned.  But I found a cute ecard that expresses it perfectly:

And I thought I was the only one who did that!

You can read the other parts of this series here:

Establishing New Habits For the New Year

Make New Friends (Habits), But Keep the Old

Making New Habits--Sometimes Success and Failure Go Hand in Hand

Making New Habits and Tweaking the Old

Making New Habits--Sometimes You Just Gotta Go With the Flow

Until next time...

Making New Habits, and Tweaking the Old

• Who can find a virtuous woman? her price is far above rubies
• She looketh well to the ways of her household
• She maketh herself coverings of tapestry, her clothing is silk and purple
• She rises while it is yet night

So, here we are on Day 22 of Making New Habits--looking well to the ways of our household--and I decided that I was tired of this one, I've done my 21 days of posting on facebook, nobody but me really cares, so I could just quit making my bed and be done with this one and no one would be the wiser....

JUST KIDDING!

Yes, it's Day 22, and yes, I will quit posting pictures of my bed every day on facebook--but I love, love, love the way my room looks when the bed is made.  I like having not just the bed made, but the extra "frou-frou" of the matching pillows--it takes less than a minute of my time to put them on in the morning and take them off at night--well worth it when it having it done makes me smile every time I walk past the door.  Nothing else may get done for the rest of the day, but at least this much of the morning has gone well and I've accomplished something, however small.  

Getting dressed to shoes every day, though, is kicking my behind! As is the getting to bed at a decent hour.  Two things that I've noticed, though:

1. I feel better when I get dressed in "real" clothes--more capable, somehow, and more productive.  I had gotten in a bad habit of "saving" my better things--even everyday things--for when I needed to go somewhere.  Don't get me wrong, if I'm about to tackle scrubbing the toilet and the tub or some major deep cleaning task, I don't want to be wearing my church clothes, or anything really nice--no shirtwaist and pearls--but even if all I'm doing is laundry and cooking and washing dishes and those other myriad little things that fill our days, I can still look nice.  Last week my cyber friend Jane mentioned in the comments that she finds it easier to get up and dressed when she wears clothes that loves and that she feels good in, and I have to agree.    
2. Delisa at Dances With Yarn and Nan at Moms the Word both pointed out the necessity for a good evening routine to adjust to the earlier bedtime that I mentioned needing--and this is one that's been really hard for me.  As in--I don't have a bedtime routine for myself--or at least not one that works!  The rest of the family goes to bed fairly early,so I'm nearly always the last one up.  I usually end up falling asleep in the recliner, then when I wake up enough to creep back to the bedroom, I don't want to wake anyone, so I tiptoe around, struggling out of my clothes, fumbling in the dark for something to sleep in, and usually fall groggily into bed with unwashed face and unbrushed teeth. Yuck. Not attractive, and not restful, either, 'cause I'm getting my sleep in fits and starts and wild dreams and trying to wake myself up enough to get up and go to bed...you get the picture.  

So what am I doing about these two observations? 

Well for the first one, I'm dressing just a little bit better most days.  I did a much-needed root touch-up and hair trimming.  I've been trying just a little harder with some of those little grooming items that can go by the way-side sometimes--like plucking and moisturizing and smoothing my calloused heels. Nothing that anyone else would notice, but some things that I'd been letting slide just a bit too often lately.  Oh, and one more biggie...

I replaced my grubby-but-oh-so-comfortable tennis shoes...

with these!

Aren't they cute? They do come with a pair of extra laces in white in case I decide to tone it down--but why not give a bright touch to these dreary winter mornings? They may not be "tapestry..." or "silk and purple" (although hot pink is sort of close to purple) but I think they're definitely in the spirit of tapestry, silk, and purple.

I know it may not seem like much, but you have to understand--I don't do cute shoes these days. I have a wide foot with a high instep, and am very hard to fit. (My husband says, very affectionately, that I have Flintstone feet). On top of that, I had a really bad bout of plantar fasciitis(sp) a couple of years ago, so any shoe I wear has to have decent support.  And since I'm not a spring chicken nor a small person, either, I tend to wear mostly flats or low heels, so that means cute is usually out. When I go to the shoe store, I browse for my size first, and then look at it to see if it's anything I could bring myself to wear.  Some of my past tennis shoes have actually been from the boys department, because it was the only place I could find some wide enough.  I had held onto this last pair of tennis shoes for six years, cause they fit, and they were so comfortable, two things that are near and dear to my heart.

 So now you know why I'm so happy to show you this picture when I say--this is Day 15 for (attempting) to get dressed to shoes in a timely manner every day. 

As far as the second item--if I want this night-time routine to work, I need to be able to get undressed, wash my face, brush my teeth, and change into something more comfortable a least a little while before bedtime--and that "something more comfortable" needs to be something I'm not ashamed or embarrassed to be seen in.  I'm not much of a fancy lingerie wear-er, although I have a couple a decent things. I tend to be hot-natured, and as any middle-aged (or older) gal can tell you, night time is the worst time to break out in the sweats. (You younger gals just wait.) So I tend to sleep in things like oversized t-shirts.  They're so comfortable. Worn to with-in an inch of their existence and soft. But hardly attractive, or for that matter, useful for anything other than dust rags. Especially the one with the stains on it that I also wear when I color my hair. Ahem. 

So do I really want to sleep in something that's nothing more than a glorified dust-rag?

As I contemplated my (lack of) a nightly routine, I realized I had fallen into the same trap with my night time clothes as I had done with my day time clothes.  Right before Christmas I finally broke down and bought myself a new flannel robe for these chilly winter evenings, and I think I bought a new nightgown the year before that. But besides those two things, I honestly can't remember when I bought myself something especially for night wear.    

.  And what about...

...those horrible slippers? The ones I like to call my "fuzzy slippers" except that there's no "fuzzy" left on the inside because they're twelve years old. I bought them to wear to the hospital when I was going to have a surgical procedure done, and they were the only ones I could find that were wide enough for my Flintstone feet.  They're too long for me, and they have no padding left in the bottom, and I realized a couple of nights ago that when I wear them, I don't walk, I shuffle.  Like an old person.  And old person who shuffles. 

So, what is a virtuous woman to do?

1. Continue to make the bed every day.  If it ain't broke, don't fix it.  This one is working well.
2. Continue the effort to get up (and stay up, not go back to bed after my husband leaves for work) and get dressed in real clothes, down to shoes, including hair and minimal make-up, every day. (in a timely manner) I may be having a forced schedule change soon which will solve this problem, but in order for that to work, I have to get more sleep, which leads right up to...
3. Work on my night time routine--make an effort to get un-dressed, washed, brushed, etc, and into night time clothes before everyone else goes to bed, and to bed my 11 p.m. or earlier (This should be much earlier, but I'm trying to be realistic at this point) which means I need to inventory my wardrobe, checking to see what else I have that needs replacing (like slippers), repairing, or just discarding.
And for the newest habit...
4. Pick one area of the house to start working on--which for me probably needs to be my extra bedroom, which is our office/library/extra clothes/junk room.  I need to do just one thing--work on one pile, or sort through one box, or straighten one shelf--every day.

You can read the other parts of this series here:

Establishing New Habits For the New Year

Make New Friends (Habits), But Keep the Old

Making New Habits--Sometimes Success and Failure Go Hand in Hand

Making New Habits--Sometimes You Just Gotta Go With the Flow

This post is linked to:

Make Your Home Sing Monday at Moms the Word

Titus 2sday at the Time-Warp Wife

Tackle It Tuesday at 5 Minutes for Mom

Works for Me Wednesday at We are THAT Family

Until next time...

Making New Habits--Sometimes Success and Failure Go Hand in Hand!

• Who can find a virtuous woman?  her price is far above rubies
• She looketh well to the ways of her household
• She maketh herself coverings of tapestry, her clothing is silk and purple
• She rises while it is yet night

Okay ladies, I'm about to be real up in here.  This week's edition of Making New Habits is a mixed bag of success and failure. 

First the good news--I made the bed every single day this week except one, and that day I had a really good reason--my sweet husband, who worked a 60-hour week this past week, was taking advantage of his one day off and sleeping in.  I left for church while he was still asleep, then we spent the afternoon at my parent's house, and by the time I went into the bedroom that night--my husband was already in bed asleep again.  But other than that--success!  I'm still tracking with daily pictures over on my Virtuous Woman facebook page, but I'm not going to bore you by reposting them here. 

Instead, I'm going to show you pictures of my massive Making New Habits FAIL for this week. 

Just to refresh your memory, my task this week was to get myself groomed and fully dressed, every day, in a timely manner, whether I had some place to go outside the house or not. I was trying to come up with what I could do to track this, without taking a full-length picture of myself each day.  (Some of you have seen mixed results of my efforts at self-portrait before!) So I thought I'd take a page from the FlyLady playbook and let my shoe-shod feet be representative of getting groomed and fully dressed each day.

I didn't take a picture the first day, but this was Day 2--dressed to shoes

Day 3--I eventually got dressed, but at the time I should have been dressed and ready to meet my day--I wasn't!

Day 4--ready to go!

Day 5--already gone!

Day 6-dressed but not to shoes--it was cold and wet outside, and I didn't put shoes on except briefly to run an errand.

Day 7--dressed, yes, sort of, but stayed in slippers and never did a thing with hair or make-up ALL DAY

Day 8--today--my husband had an extra early day today, so I got up with him at 3:10, then went to back to bed after he left, couldn't get to sleep, and then finally slept in.  And even after I got out of bed, just couldn't seem to get up and at it like I needed to do. So this picture was taken way later than it should have been. Way.  

And finally--now! Yes, I did get eventually get showered, dressed, groomed, made-up, and gone about my day. Just way late.  Way.

So my clothing was not much like the virtuous woman's silk or tapestry this week.  On days I know I need to get up and dressed and out of the house, I seem to do better.  And we have had an abundance of cold, wet, dreary days that make me want to stay in my robe-and-slippers cocoon as long as possible, but I was really disappointed in myself some days.  I hate slouchiness and grubbiness, in myself as well as in others.  I love comfort, and as you can see, my "uniform" consists of jeans and tennis shoes more often than not; it's not like I have to put on pantyhose and heels with my shirtwaist and pearls.  But I could at least wear a cute shirt, and make sure my hair is done and at least minimal make-up. 

In trying to to analyze my failure this week, I've come up with a couple of different ideas. 

First of all--I've blogged before about my night-owl tendencies, which come and go at times according to my schedule, but I'm nearly always a bit on the late side to bed at night. I try to get up with my husband around 5:00 a.m., but then if I'm tired (which I usually am) I go back to bed after he leaves.  I've never been a hit-the-floor-running kind of person, I like a slower, more leisurely pace to my mornings.  But if I sleep later and take my time to get going, guess what? It's really late by the time I'm ready to do anything.

The Virtuous Woman "rises while it is yet night...", doesn't she? Ugh. Sounds like an early riser to me.

And what about some of the rest of scripture?

• Psalm 63 states it this way "O God, thou art my God, early will I see thee..."
• And Psalm 78, "they returned and enquired early after God"
• And Psalm 57, "Awake up, my glory; awake, psaltery and harp: I myself will awake early"
• And Psalm 108 "Awake psaltery and harp: I myself will awake early"

Double Ugh.

On the one hand, does it really matter if my day is from 8:00 a.m.-to-midnight (or later) or if it's 6:00 a.m.-to-10:00 p.m.?  Maybe not. But if my family are all early-to-bed-early-to-rise, wouldn't that be included in "looking well to the ways of my household?" 

I have some other thoughts in the matter, but I think I'll save them for another day.  I got started late today, and I have some other things I need to do. 

But my combined list for Making New Habits is this:

1. Continue to make the bed every day
2. Continue to try to get groomed and dressed in a timely manner every day
3. Rethink my morning and evening schedule--including getting to bed earlier.  I'll make this specific--to bed by 11:00 p.m. (or earlier) every night. 

Are you and early bird or night owl?  And how do you adjust your schedule to fit your family's?

You can read the other parts of this series here:

Establishing New Habits For the New Year

Make New Friends (Habits), But Keep the Old

Making New Habits and Tweaking the Old

Making New Habits--Sometimes You Just Gotta Go With the Flow

This post is linked to:

Make Your Home Sing Monday at Mom's the Word

Titus Tuesday at the TimeWarp Wife

Tackle it Tuesday at 5 Minutes for Mom

Works for Me Wednesday at We are THAT Family

Until next time...

Make New Friends (Habits), But Keep the Old

• Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies
• She looketh well to the ways of her household... 
• She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple

Last week I posted about my new habit for the new year of making my bed every day, along with a picture of Day 1 of a made bed.  And here you see before you photographic proof that I've continued all week:

Day 2

Day 3

Day 4

Day 5

Day 6

Day 7

Day 8

We're now up to Day 8! Can you see how I tried to vary the pillows and the blinds so you could see that it wasn't just eight pictures of the same thing?? How clever is that? I'm not to the habit-forming magic figure of 21 days, but I'm well on my way. 

So now, while I continue on my bed-making habit, I want to add/start another, related habit.  I've been doing well at getting up and making/dressing the bed, but I have to confess, I don't always do so well about dressing myself, at least in a timely manner.  

Again, it's like making the bed--sometimes I do get up and get dressed fairly immediately, and some days--not. At least not in going-out-in-public clothes.  Can we agree that pulling on a pair of yoga pants with the same t-shirt I slept in doesn't really count?  Especially when I'm still wearing my fuzzy slippers?

Here is my convoluted reasoning/excuse for this.  Up until four years ago, I worked outside the home pretty much my entire adult life.  I had to get up and get dressed and out the door every week day morning.  Saturday was usually grocery shopping day, Sunday was church. Even for the couple of years when our son was in school that I didn't work, I took him to school every morning, so I still had to get up and get dressed and get out the door.  But the last few years, I no longer have a job that I have to get to every day, or a kid that has to go to school, or really any pressing reason, on some days, to even leave the house.  So there's no rush, really, to get (real) clothes on. 

Except that there is.  If I look sloppy, I act sloppy.  I'll get an idea of something that I want to do, but because I'm not (really) groomed or dressed yet, it seems like too much trouble.  Not that it would take that long, anyway, but sitting around looking like a mess makes me feel like a mess, too.  

And I have another confession to make.  Twice right before the holiday, our mail person (thank goodness it's a woman) came by with a package and caught me in my housecoat and slippers.  Way late in the morning. Embarrassing, right? The second time I told her, "I swear some days I actually get up and get dressed!" and she laughed, of course, and told me that if she could be at home, she'd probably be dressed the same way. 

Now ladies, we all know that there are some days that we just don't feel like getting out of our pajamas.  Everybody deserves a lazy day every now and then, and that's okay.  Every now and then.  But it's happening too often for me, and I never wanted to be that woman who sits around in her housecoat and slippers all day with her hair in curlers. 

My next habit that I'm working on is to get up, make the bed, of course, and get completely groomed and dressed, every single day, whether I have someplace to go or not.  I don't have to wear pearls and high-heels, ala June Cleaver, but if publishers clearing house comes to my door, I don't want to have to slam it their face because I'm too unkempt to be on tv. 

That wouldn't be very virtuous of me, now would it?

You can read the other parts of this series here:

Establishing New Habits For the New Year

Making New Habits--Sometimes Success and Failure Go Hand in Hand

Making New Habits and Tweaking the Old

Making New Habits--Sometimes You Just Gotta Go With the Flow

 Even though this is Wednesday, this post is linked to:

Make My Home Sing Monday at Moms the Word

Tackle It Tuesday at 5 Minutes for Mom

Titus Tuesday at Time Warp Wife

Works for Me Wednesday at We are THAT Family

Until next time...

Establishing New Habits for the New Year

• Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies
• She looketh well to the ways of her household

It's that time of year again, when we all purpose that this year will be the year that we get it all together.  This year will be the year that we lose the weight, eat healthier, exercise, read the Bible through, spend less, earn more, start to do this and finish doing that.  We make resolutions, set goals, purpose in our hearts, make up our minds-whatever you want to call it.

Most of our resolutions start well, or are at least well-intentioned, but at some point it all gets to be too much.  We bite off more than we can chew, or we try to do too many new things at one time, and eventually--we fizzle-, fade-, or just wear out.  We look around and realize that it's been days, maybe even weeks, since we flossed, exercised, had our quiet time, read our Bible, or whatever.

I've come to the conclusion that while I may have lofty goals it all boils down to habits.  Good habits vs. bad habits, poor habits vs. non-existent habits.  Scientists at some point determined that it takes 21 days to create a new habit (and probable much longer to break an old one!) So instead of setting my sights too high and crashing and burning, I've decided to start small this year. And instead of working on breaking my bad habits, I'm going to work on establishing some good ones. 

I have a lot of areas that I need to work on, both spiritual and physical, personal and public; but the one I am using a representative of all of the ways I'm hoping to make some changes, is making my bed. I have to confess, I don't always make my bed.  Oh, I do at times, sometimes even several days in a row.  But I often go weeks that the only day the bed gets really made is the day I change the sheets. Gasp.

 Day 1

So the first habit I'm going public with is this one--to make my bed, every single day.  I started yesterday, and I plan to take a picture every day and post it to A Virtuous Woman's facebook page. (I can take a quick picture with my phone and upload it to facebook in a matter of minutes, but posting it here requires me to leave the house and go some place with high speed internet. Which means I'd have to leave the house, which means I wouldn't be at home, working on my other habits!)

I'll keep you updated here on how I do on this habit, as well as some I'll be tweaking, and some other new ones I'll be adding.

What new habits are you working on this year?

You can read the other parts of this series here:

 Make New Friends (Habits), But Keep the Old

Making New Habits--Sometimes Success and Failure Go Hand in Hand

Making New Habits and Tweaking the Old

Making New Habits--Sometimes You Just Gotta Go With the Flow

Until next time...

Holiday Blog Hop--Blog Hop of Goodies



Susie at Susie QT Pies Scraps of Life is hosting a Holiday Blog Hop that I'm participating in.  The problem is, I'm not a big holiday decorator or baker or shopper until well into the season. So in order to participate in the blog hop, I'm linking to several of my past holiday posts, just to get us in the spirit of things.

First is my post on "Whatever Happened to the Twelve Days of Christmas?" 

Second is a tutorial on one my favorite easy Christmas crafts, Candy Cane Reindeer

One from a Doors of Welcome post I did a couple of years ago that highlights some easy dollar store decorating I did when I was in an apartment two states away from all of my holiday decorations

 One of my favorits dollar store decorating posts on four different versions of a thrifty centerpiece

  

And last but certainly not least, three posts on why this gentile Christian gal celebrates Hanukkah

So click around on some of the links below and hop from blog to blog to your heart's content!