It's All a Matter of Balance

• Who can find a virtuous woman? her price is far above rubies
• She looketh well to the ways of her household

I shared with ya'll on my last post that I had been falling down on the job about my habits.  I had a bad week; it was rainy and dreary; someone who I thought was a friend hurt me--or at least hurt my feelings; I was depressed; ya-da, ya-da, ya-da.

Some of it was physical, some emotional, some spiritual.

Then something happened the next week that really knocked me for loop--literally.  I was bringing groceries up the carport steps and into the house, and somehow as I stepped into the kitchen I was falling--luckily forward onto the floor and not backward onto the concrete. It felt like it was in slow-motion--a slow, inevitable fall that ended suddenly as I hit the floor. 

I was hurt--not just feelings, this time, but literal, physical hurt.  I landed first on my left knee, which hurt like the dickens.  I knocked into a chair with my right shoulder.  I apparently pulled a muscle or something in my right calf.  I found myself sprawled in the middle of the floor, crying aloud, surrounded by spilled bags of groceries, including an omelet of sorts, as smashed eggs began to ooze from the carton and spread slowly across the floor. 

I slowly managed to turn over and sit upright, and sat there--on the floor, surrounded by the spilled contents of my bags--and balled like a baby. I was in pain, but some of the crying was pent up frustration from the physical, emotional, and spiritual storms that I had been weathering. 

I finally managed to pull myself together, and tried to get up off the floor, only to realize that my instinctive, roll-over-onto-all-fours-and-get-on-up move wasn't working, 'cause my knee HURT too much to put weight on it.  Not to mention that other calf that felt like it was knotted up in a charlie horse. 

Just for a minute I panicked.  Then I thought of the phone call I might have to make, "Help, I've fallen, and I can't get up!"

Not me!  Not this ol' gal!

Then I panicked again when I couldn't find my cell phone in my purse--it was hiding among the spilled groceries--but luckily not in the raw eggs spreading slowly across the floor.

So how did I get up?  I scooted across the floor on my rear, managed to reach up enough with my cell phone to unlatch the storm door, and stuck my legs out the door and down the steps, so I managed to just stand up from a sitting position on the steps. 

Not my finest hour. 

And then I had to clean up the mess!

I've had a couple of weeks to recover and I'm still limping around.  The bruises are finally starting to fade, although I will certainly take your head off right quickly if you try to pat me on the knee. 

I've had a lot of recliner time, trying to keep my legs elevated to keep the bruising down. 

And lots of time for reflection. 

It certainly put somethings back into perspective for me. 

I wish that I was one of those people that let things just roll off of me.  Just like I wish I was one of those  physically limber and agile people who can roll right out of a fall, too. 

But as I was praying one day, asking the Lord to help me not be so sensitive, I stopped in my tracks.  I have prayed in the past for the Lord to help me to be more sensitive, especially when I have inadvertently hurt someone I love.  That very sensitivity to hurt is what makes me more sensitive to the needs of others. 

I lost my balance in the natural, when I fell into the kitchen. You better believe that as painful as my recovery has been, I'm much more careful about where I step--and about making sure I keep my balance. 

Sometimes I lose my balance emotionally and spiritually, too. 

I don't know why my "friend" did what she did, the way that she did it.  It hurt me, it hurt others, as well.  But I'd rather feel the pain than close myself off to love, and friendship, and relationships in the future. 

I just need to be sure that I keep myself in balance. 

Proverbs 27:6 states it this way: "Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful."

May I be ever sensitive, Lord.

Until next time...

This post is linked to:
Finer Things Friday at Amy's Finer Things
Spiritual Sundays