The Heart of Her Husband

• Who can find a virtuous woman? her price is far above rubies
• The heart of her husband doeth safely trust in her, and he hath no need for spoil
• She openeth her mouth with wisdom...

As I write this, I know that bright and early in the morning I'll be headed out, driving back home to Louisiana after spending the weekend in Texas with my husband. He's been here since right after we left Georgia in September, and hasn't been able to come home, even for a weekend, in over a month now.

It's hard holding down the home front while he's away, and I have a tendency to think sometimes that I have the worst end of the deal. This weekend reminds me, though that I have so much more to be thankful about than I ever give credit for. It's hard being alone in a town where you don't know anyone else. He is a much worse homebody than I am, and would like nothing better than to be home, working some where local, mowing the grass on the weekends and changing the oil in the trucks. Home is where his heart is, and if he had his way, that's where he would be. Instead, he works a job that keeps him on the road 95% of the time, all to be able to make a decent living and take care of the needs and wants of his family.

I leave here with a renewed resolution to do whatever it takes to make it easier on him. No more complaining. No more gripe sessions. No more pity parties. It's time to step up and be a virtuous woman--a chayil woman--a woman of strength and valour.

Not that I have it in me to be those things--but I was thinking again about the verse in II Corinthians 12:9, And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. (emphasis added).

I can't do it in myself--be those things. Strong. Full of valour. Virtuous. But when I give God my weakness, His strength is make perfect in weakness.

I can't. But He can.

And then the heart of my husband can safely trust in me.

Until next time...

This post is linked to:

Making My Home Sing Monday at Mom's the Word

Virtuous by Intent

• Who can find a virtuous woman? Her price is far above rubies
• She looketh well to the ways of her household

Not long after I started this blog, I wrote a post about what "virtuous" means, in life and in this verse. While there is an element of "goodness", it's better defined as being a woman of strength, honor, valor--and yes, "goodness", or moral excellence.

Of late I feel that I've failed miserably at being a virtuous woman. Strong, brave, honorable--these are hardly words I'd use to describe myself these days. And lest you misunderstand what I mean, no, I haven't begun a life of crime or immorality. But lately I find myself drifting through my days, with no goals or purpose, other than the necessary mundane tasks of daily living, and with little or no accountability for how I spend my time.

For a while I was doing a little better. Participating in the "Philippians 3:14 Fridays" at Which Proverbs 14:1 Woman? gave me some incentive to set some goals, and a little "virtual"accountability to get some of it done for my weekly update. Unfortunately, that weekly meme died for lack of participation, and my "pressing toward the goal" in that sense died with it.

To be honest, I've had a sense of restlessness and lack of something for quite some time, but it's been getting worse and worse, and the last couple of weeks have been--well--not fun. Not for me, and certainly not for my family, poor things.

One of the things I've discovered about myself the last few years is that, while I like a certain amount of spontaneity and adventure, I really, really, really, need a sense of security and structure to hang it on. And while the important things are there--faith and family--I've allowed some of the peripherals--those less important, outside-my-sphere-of-influence-things--to loom larger and larger in my life and in my psyche, until misperceptions about that underlying structure have robbed me of my sense of purpose and security.

And so, on to what to do about it--it's one thing to realize that I've let myself go, in so many ways, and to know that I need to do something about it--but still another to know where to begin. Those peripheral issues are still there, are not in my control, nor or they changing. All I can hope to change is myself, and those things over which I do have control. One thing at a time, inch by inch, step by step.

I read a post by Jen over at Balancing Beauty and Bedlam about how changing two little things that she could control--the color of dishwashing soap she used, and the container it was in--helped lift two things she couldn't--the color of the lilies growing in her yard, and the necessity of doing dishes--from mundane to magical.

And in that short post about an everyday matter, I stumbled upon two words which for me speak of those things missing from my life lately--intent and accountability.

The definition of intent is this:

The determination or resolve to do a certain thing, or the state of mind with which something is done.

I think that's what I've been missing lately--I tell myself all the time that I intended to do this or that thing that I didn't do, but did I really start out to do them with intent, with determination and resolve? I don't think so. As a matter of fact, I know so. For all intents and purposes, I've had no intent or purpose.

And that's the part that I want to work on. Living with intent.

As a Christian, as a woman, as a wife and a mother and so much more, I want to do what I do with intent. With determination and resolve, and with a purposeful state of mind.

So far, all I have is the resolve. I'm not sure even what direction this may take me; I just know that whichever path I take, I want to follow it with intent.

This post is linked to A Beautiful Life at The Inspired Room.

Until next time....

What does "virtuous" mean?

• Who can find a virtuous woman?

What do you think of when you think of a "virtuous woman"? What does "virtuous" really mean, anyway?

According to dictionary.com, virtue is defined as "moral excellence; goodness; righteousness", and virtuous is defined as "conforming to ethical and moral principles". So a virtuous woman would be a woman of moral excellence, goodness , and righteousness, conforming to ethical and moral principles.

On a more personal level, when I first think of a virtuous woman, I think of an almost saintly person--a real "church lady"--able to perform as a superwoman and keep a sweet look on her face all at the same time.

A lofty aspiration, but is this passage of scripture really discussing only saintliness as we usually define it--the goodness and morality mentioned earlier? The problem with thinking this way is that the scripture was not written originally in English. Especially if we're looking at it in the KJV, common usage of words may have changed since it was first translated. So, lets dig a little deeper. KJV translates this as "virtuous woman"; NKJV, "virtuous wife; NAS, "excellent wife", and the Amplified Bible states it as "capable, intelligent, and virtuous wife". So, again, I think of a certain quality of "goodness", and maybe efficiency thrown in for good measure. From the passage, it's obvious she is a real worker bee, and now she is morally excellent, good, and righteous.

This is getting worse and worse. I mean, er, harder and harder to live up to.

But wait, there's more...

According to Strong's Exhaustive Concordance, the word translated here as "virtuous" is a Hebrew word that can best be transliterated in English as chayil. The definition of chayil is "army, wealth, virtue, valour, strength..great forces..might..power..strength." What's more, this word chayil is translated as virtue, virtuous, virtuously only about 4 out of 243 instances that it's used in the Bible. By far the single biggest use of this word is translated as "men of valour", as in David's mighty men of valour.

When I first started studying this, it was as if a light-bulb went off over my head. Being a virtuous woman is not about being meek and mild and sweet and "good"--all of those things that I have trouble being. Meekness is a fruit of the Spirit (Gal 5:22-23) that we all need to bear. But being a virtuous woman is about more than that. It's about being a strong woman. A woman of valour and honor. A woman of moral excellence, and yes, a "good" woman.

Wait a minute--aren't women supposed to be "the weaker sex"? You know, most of us are physically weaker than most men, in the tests that men use to measure strength. We probably can't bench press more than the men we know. We probably can't jump as high or run as fast or as far as most men. I think we're capable, though, of strength of a different sort. We may not bear the physical burdens in our families, but we often bear other types of burdens. Our work may be measured differently from what most men term work, but it is a noble work, and one that we are peculiarly equipped to do. Men may be the bricks upon which we build our family, but we are the mortar that holds it all together.

I'll be talking later on about what it means to be a strong woman of God, but for tonight, let me leave you with this. God has a peculiar place for each of us as godly women to fill. We are virtuous--not by our own strength, or by our own goodness, but by His strength, and His goodness.

Rise up, you women of virtue; rise up, you women of valour and strength, and take the place that God created you to take.

Until next time,